hell is a support group

locked down with knees

pressing against the

black underside

uneven & pockmarked by

things added

or things taken away

of a desk borrowed

from the classroom

down the hall,

your leg shakes

when you are nervous,

'sorry we didn't expect

to have such a

turnout tonight'

the loose screws from

the inclined desk

to the craining bar

that leads to the seat

the bar looks like

a swan's neck,

dirty and silver

tired under the

pressures of elbows

and teenager's textbooks

they squeak, the screws,

the desk, the bar, from

your jittering leg

across from you

not directly but

still across, a man

sits with a cigarette

in his hands. the

tip black and stunted,

the man had put it

out underneath his

chair. there is no

smoking, underneath

your chair or otherwise

but he still holds

the cigarette, thumbing

the filter and rolling

it back and forth

between his middle

and index finger

there are times

he reaches into the

jacket pocket he put

the lighter in and

pulls out a handkerchief,

he is older, maybe

in his fifties, but

there are also times

he reaches in and pulls

out nothing, what do

you do with your

hands, while you are

talking or listening,

uncomfortably to others'

stories that are too

similar to yours in

a general sort of

way. what had

set you apart outside

of this room, green

blackboard with Spanish

for tomorrow or

leftover from today's

lesson, makes you the

same here. the man

in the blue, union

t-shirt's son goes here

as does the woman

to your right's

daughter. you went to

a school far away

from here. Sue,

Shirl, Sally, the

woman to your

right, whose nametag

you cannot see

but her name,

you recall, starts

with an "s",

speaks of her problems

as they relate

through her daughter

and with her hands

smoothes her slacks

repeatedly. most

try to keep their

hands very still

the man across from

you, not directly

but still across,

lights his cigarette

again. "sorry i wasn't

thinking" he stabs

it under his desk.

the counselor, commentator,

moderator smiles with

a little too much

compassion and understanding

for such an insignificant

thing. the smoking

man pulls out a

fresh cigarette and

begins rolling it

between his fingers

again